Expression

Hello again! I wasn't entirely pleased with my changed skin last week, too cheery and pre-school, although it expressed a bit of the spring feeling around here. So, with a bit of inspiration, I took to a paintbrush and changed it all up. Can one every be truly satisfied with design work like this? There's still a few things that could be better about this look, but it is an improvement. Hopefully I can keep it up for a while before tiring of it, maybe change to color splots in the future.

Several weeks ago, roo and I got into writing e-mails in verse. (Does anyone else miss roo?) Maybe this unlatched a closed door in my brain, not sure, but since then I've written three songs in three weeks. Ashley has made a website of her poetry, but since mine are songs, I'd rather not publish them without the music. However, there's not a good web service for that, even if they were already recorded. I like the songs very much, and think they are my best work so far. But my poor fingers are blistered from playing them all over and over! Songs, indeed, anything of your own making is very satisfying.

sometimes you start a little pet project like this and you have every intentions of keeping it up to date. but such is the professional world, you get busy at work, you don't have time to log on and the last thing i want to do when i get home is spend time reliving that days absurdities.

before you know it, you forgot you even started this side project.

but then, you get hit with some insanely ignorant bullshit question that actually makes you stand back in awe and say to yourself "i need to do something about this. i should start a site where i can vent these frustrations, show the world that yes, companies succeed, they grow by leaps and bounds, all on the input and collaboration of the intellectually challanged"

and it dawns on you that you already did that. so with that, here was todays comment that made me rediscover this blog.

i was asked by someone in Sales, what price a new title would be sold for.

don't people in Sales have meetings to discuss these types of things?

i apologize, i was about to go on a rant of how extremely unknowlegable most Sales people are of the product they've made their CAREERS out of selling, their profession of choice is to SELL (Sales 101, right at the top of the Sales For Dummies pamphlet, the first bullet point is "know what price you are selling for dipshit"), but then that would be too easy, like taking candy from a baby, but this baby is retarded... and has no legs... and no opposable thunbs to even hold the candy which you are taking.

and what kind of sick fuck are you that you would take candy from a handicapped, retarded baby.

Not Friday

The husband and wife go to a counselor after 15 years of marriage. The counselor asks them what the problem is, and the wife goes into a tirade listing every problem they have ever had in the 15 years they've been married. She goes on and on and on.

Finally, the counselor gets up, goes around the desk, embraces the woman, kisses her passionately, rips off her clothes and makes mad passionate love to her. Needless to say, the woman shuts up and sits quietly with a very satisfied daze.

The counselor turns to the husband and says, "This is what your wife needs at least three times a week. Can you do that?"

The husband thinks for a moment and replies, "Well, I can get her here on Monday and Wednesday, but Friday I play golf."

Imposible To Please

A group of girlfriends is on vacation when they see a 5-story hotel with a sign that reads: "For Women Only." Since they are without their boyfriends and husbands, they decide to go in.

The bouncer, a very attractive guy, explains to them how it works. "We have 5 floors. Go up floor by floor, and once you find what you are looking for, you can stay there. It's easy to decide since each floor has a sign telling you what's inside."

So they start going up and on the first floor the sign reads: "All the men on this floor are short and plain." The friends laugh and without hesitation move on to the next floor.

The sign on the second floor reads: "All the men here are short and handsome." Still, this isn't good enough, so the friends continue on up.

They reach the third floor and the sign reads: "All the men here are tall and plain."

They still want to do better, and so, knowing there are still two floors left, they continued on up.

On the fourth floor, the sign is perfect: "All the men here are tall and handsome." The women get all excited and are going in when they realize that there is still one floor left. Wondering what they are missing, they head on up to the fifth floor.

There they find a sign that reads: "There are no men here. This floor was built only to prove that there is no way to please a woman."

....but he still got a shag

Mate of mine was an usher at a wedding in Scotland, it was the whole caboodle, kilts and no underwear etc.
He got pretty pissed after the reception and chatted up a very attractive (or so he tells me) blonde girl whom he took back to his room for some nooky.
They were on the bed, still dressed when he suggested that he order a bottle of champagne to make it 'a bit special' so he rang room service who arrived a couple of minutes later.
He got off the bed, answered the door and went back into the room with the champagne.
The blonde had got off the bed and was straightening her skirt, saying that this was not a good idea and she didn't normally do things on the first date. She left.
He was completely bemused as to what had made her change her mind so quickly until he went back to the bed and saw an 18 inch skid mark on his side of the bed. He had not wiped his arse properly (as you do when pissed) and did not have the protection of boxer shorts / kaks.

He did however manage to get the blonde pissed later, and get a shag...in her room.